She Could Be Happy
by Unbearablesilence
Summary: After watching the 4x09 promo of Brittany and Sam, I had to write a short story of Santana's reaction if she witnessed that horrible scene. Heart wrenching, but definitely worth writing. (Picture not mine) Remember that Brittana will always be on.


Santana is back from school for winter break. It's nice to be back in town to see her mom and Brittany. Especially Brittany because she's been missing her a lot lately. She has all these feelings bundled up into one again, and she doesn't know how to express them properly.

She walks into the halls of Mckinley, then heads for the chior room, but doesn't find anyone there. The dismissal bell rang a few seconds ago. Santana tries to look for Brittany in the crowded halls, but the blonde meets with Sam at her locker. She watches them from afar as the hallway clears up; giving her a front row seat to the two blondes. For moments, they talk. As Santana analyzes Brittany's body language, she notices something funny. It looks like Brittany has this sparkle in her eye and a flirty tone in her voice, but that's how she's always been. She's just a nice person, right? For moments, she looks away replaying the memories of her former girlfriend in her head.

The kisses

The hugs

The smiles

And she wonders how she will handle it when they belong to someone else. But that's selfish, isn't it? Santana wanting her and only her whenever she wants to be happy? She _could_ be happy, that's what Santana wants.

_Please say you love me back, please._

_What about you and I? _

_I will always love you the most._

"You're the only person that makes me smile."

But Santana made her smile, too, didn't she? She made her smile, laugh, and feel secure because she knew Brittany all too well for her to deal with this cruel world. As she watches her, time moves slower and slower. Their lips touch momentarily, but to her it feels like eternity. The event before her makes her insides turn and her hands clammy. Tears swell up in her eyes and a lump forms in her throat. That feeling of wanting to sob takes over her body, but she bites her lip to prevent it.

And there she stands; watching the girl that still holds her heart kissing someone else. When both Sam and Brittany separate lips, they turn to face her and notice immediately the devastation in her eyes. Before any words even escape Santana's lips, a sob quickly comes from her mouth. She races for the bathroom and Brittany follows behind her. The brunette locks herself in a stall and feels blood rush to her face. Her already damaged heart; broken and falling apart inside her anatomy. Several tears stream down her face. That ugly feeling in her chest makes it hard for her to breathe and see, but why would she want to see something so absurd to her eyes and heart?

Brittany comes into the bathroom and knocks on the stall Santana's in. Slowly, the small door unlocks and Santana appears from behind it.

"I shouldn't be crying," she states with a crack in her voice while wiping her tears.

"And why not?" the blonde asks in a whisper and rubs on Santana's back to calm her down.

"...I'm the one that let you go, remember?"

The blue eyes that usually sparkled when they met chocolate brown ones now sadden at each glimpse of the brunette. Easily, it was noticeable that Brittany had fallen for her first love once more. Quickly, she shakes out her feelings.

"I'm sorry, San. I was going to tell you, but-"

"No, it's fine. I'm happy for you." Santana's voice is weak without question along with the energy in her body. She's drained without emotion and hurt without explanation. She can't explain why she's hurt when she's the one that let her go. The blonde tries to hug her, but she flinches and slowly pulls away. She's too hurt and too attached to be anywhere near her. As she walks out, memories replay in her head and make her heart wrench continuously.

_Of course I love you, I do..._

_I love you, Santana. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else in this world._

_I love you too._

She realized that, yes, she could be happy. She could smile and laugh and love...even if it's not with her. That's something's she could never grasp; being without her. She misses it when Brittany smiled every time she saw her, especially now. But did she forget how hurt she left the blonde once they were over?

If only she could tell her the truth. Yes, she wants her to be happy, but she wants to be the cause of her happiness. Nonetheless, she must remember that everything was once hers. All the laughs, smiles, hugs and touches belonged to her at one point, and for that, she's grateful. At least she could say she had her first.

* * *

**Reminder**: Brittana is endgame.


End file.
